This memorial site was created in memory with all my love and tears.All the love and tears I have for Chad Edward Brill. Chad was born to us
our only son born January 26, 1981. Chad was killed in a car crash with a drunk driver, God chose to give Chad his Angel wings to fly
home to be in his presence. His Angel Wings carried him home on June 23,2002. That is the day our lives changed forever. Chad is sadly missed daily, he has the heart to care completley, the smile that brought so much pleasure and he has love beyond measure.

Thanks, Dianne for this beautiful poem
you wrote especially for my son, you
did such a wonderful job!!!
Chad Edward Brill
  

Chad Edward Brill 
 
 Jesus holds you I can't !


        

Precious Child
Words and Music by Karen Taylor-Good
In my dreams,you are alive and well
In my mind, I see you clear as a bell
Precious child, precious child

In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart, there is hope
Cause you are with me still

In my heart, you live on
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left to soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever...in my heart

In my plans, I was the first to leave
Precious child, precious child

In my soul, there is a hole
That can never be filled
But in my heart there is hope
And you are with me still

In my heart you live on
Always there, never gone
Precious child, you left too soon,
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever...in my heart

God knows I want to hold you,
See you, touch you
And maybe there's a heaven
And someday I will again
Please know you are not forgotten until then

In my hear you live on 
Always there never gone
Precious child, you left to soon
Tho' it may be true that we're apart
You will live forever... in my heart

 NEVER SEEING CHAD AGAIN
EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED
RELENTLESS TURMOIL
VENOMUS THOUGHTS
OUT BURST OF TEARS
UNABLE TO COPE
SEEKING JUSTICE

BELOVED CHILD GONE
RANTING
EMOTIONS OUT OF CONTROL
ANGRY
KNEELING ON MY KNEES
DRUNK DRIVER
ONE MORE DAY
WRONGFUL DEATH
NEVER SEEING CHAD AGAIN
There is no Love like a Mothers Love!

Chad was our only boy out of four girls
so we called him

Yep Mom, we should have named her Grace.



Carrie Age 5, Chad Age 4






Mom, Carrie, Cassie, Brooke and Taylor
each received a pendant from Chad at
his funeral. The pendant has a handprint in
the center of the heart. Chad took to heaven in
his hand a figurine with each name printed on it
each of the figurines had our own hair color.
These were given to us as a symbol of Chad
would be held forever in our hearts. And we
would forever be with him.



Only a thought away.

My tears make my pain more visible So please, take my hand and see me through my tears Please See Me Through My Tears
You asked, "How are you doing?"
As I told you, tears came to my eyes...and you
looked away and quickly began to talk again.
All the attention you had given me had drained away.
"How am I doing?" I do better when people listen,
though I may shed a tear or two.
This pain is indescribable. If you've never known it, you
cannot fully understand.
Yet I need you.
When you look away,
I am again alone with it.
Your attention means more than you can ever know.
Really, tears are not a bad sign, you know!
They're nature's way of helping me to heal.
They relieve some of the stress of sadness
....but you are wrong.

The memory of Chad's death will always be with me,
le to you, but you did not
give me the pain...it was already there.
When I cry, could it be that you feel helpless, Not knowing what to do?
You are not helpless,
And you don't need to do a thing but be there.
When I feel your permission to allow my tears to flow,
you've helped me
You need not speak. Your silence as I cry is all I need.
Be patient...do not fear.
Listening with your heart to "how I am doing" relieves the pain
for when the tears can freely come and go, I feel lighter.
Talking to you releases what I've wanted to say aloud,
clearing space
for a touch of joy in my life.
I'll cry for a minute or two... and then I'll wipe my eyes
and sometimes you'll even find I'm laughing later.
When I hold back the tears, my throat grows tight,
my chest aches, my stomach knots...
because I'm trying to protect YOU from my tears.
Then we both hurt ME, because my pain is held inside,
a shield against our closeness and YOU,
because suddenly we are distant.
then we can be close again.

Author Unknown





MY SON LIVES IN PARADISE

The dust has settled on the things
That I have stored away
A favorite toy, for little boy
A jar of dried out clay

A photograph when you were young
Sits quietly on the shelf
Thoughts of you come drifting back
I just can't help my self.

A drawing that you made for me
When you were very small
Is framed withing this heart of mine
And hangs upon the wall.

A scrapbook lies within the room
Where you once laid your head
Your favorite book, a model car
The pillow on your bed.

I miss you coming in from school
"Hey mom, it's me, I'm home"
I miss the little words and hugs
The special times we've known.

A part of me just disappeared
The day you went away
An empty space now fill my heart
There are no words to say.

A closet filled with memories
Of happy days gone by
A baseball cap and souvenir
Why did you have to die?

The trophies that you won at school
Stand proudly on display
Your many friends can't understand
Why God called you away.

I hear your voice within the halls
It echoes in the night
I see you in the evening mist
And in the morning light.

So many things you left behind
Are now a memory
Bit little arms that held me tight
Will always stay with me.

An empty space now fills my heart
My boy, my child, my son
You've gone into another world
Where golden dreams are spun.

I do not know the answers
It's not for me to know
But I will know the truth one day
Just why you had to go.

My turn will come to leave this world
I'll gaze into your eyes
God's perfect plan will be revealed
Up there in Paradise.


©2005 Marilyn Ferguson
http://www.marilynspoetry.com/

Thank you so much Marilyn for letting me use your beautiful poem.





I'm two I can make two wishes



This is probably the biggest lie of all, I may
not physically cry but my heart crys always.
 

A Single white rose for you my heavenly son. The spirtual love it represents only compares to the everlasting love, stronger than death that I have for you. My love for you is undying and all sustaining.
With all my love, Mom 




He Only Took My Hand

Last night while I was trying to sleep
My sons voice I did hear
I opened my eyes and looked around
But he did not appear
He said " Mom you've got to listen,
You've got to understand,
God did not take me from you, He only took my hand."
When I called out in pain that night,
the instant that I died.
He reached down and took my hand,
and pulled me to his side.
He pulled me up and saved me from the misery and pain.
My body was hurt so badly,
I could never be the same.
My search is really over now, I've found happiness within.
All the answers to my empty dreams, all that might have been.
I love and miss you so much, I will always be near by, my body is gone
Forever but my spirit will never die!
And so you must go on now live one day at a time.
Just remember God did not take me from you he only took my hand.
Author:Unknown

The Blues For Chad



Chad, since you went away
I have had the Blues each day.
Your memories are a blessing
for me, but I just don't
like living on memories.




Chad, In the beginning people would say "You 
have so many memories." That would make
me so mad.  I didn't want to live with you
thru memories, and now I thank God each
day that I have those memories.



Thank you Terri Angel Mom to Jaimie Drebit
I hope our Angels have met in heaven.







I have shed enough tears to raise the level of the ocean.
Maybe, the higher the water rises, the closer I will get
to you!

Chad, I cannot let you know enough how your absence has changed
our family.  We all miss you so much so please use those stars to
are advantage.  Let us know you are with us, through the stars, throwing down a penny.  WE all welcome any sign that you can give us
and I personally pray each night that you will come into my dreams. 

Brooke had just turned 5 when you left
us Chad, she is now 9.  Sometimes I
think they were so small and have
forgotten. Then I find little letters
like this that let me know that
nothing is further from the truth.


  

Chad's sister won the fourth grade DARE project for her school and this is what she wrote that made her a winner!

LIVIN IT DRUG FREE 24-7
What being drug free 247 means to me. Being drug free means to be a leader. When you are drug free you are showing a good example for young children, at home or at school. Did you know when you do drugs you are hurting your body? There are thousands of people each year that die from doing drugs or drinking alcohol. There are alot of drugs such as tobbaco, beer and more, Did you know you can die from drinking Alcohol? I know this because my brother died from a Drunk Driver. I don't like to say this but he did drink too. See he did not be a leader and say no to drinking that night. He left everyone he knew and the people who was related to him to suffer here on Earth. I hope my brother's story let's people who are doing drugs to stop doing them so something like this does not happen to them. I also hope my brothers story let's the people who aren't doing drugs to not start. By doing drugs you are not showing leadership and by not doing drugs you are showing great leadership. I hope everybody will be like me and stay drug free. If you do drugs you are not just hurting yourself you are hurting other people too. If everyone stepped up to the plate and said no to drugs. I think the world would be a better place. That's what being drug free 24-7 means to me.
Brooke Howerton age 9




This is Marty W. Howser II also know as Deuce. He was killed in a car crash September 9,2000.
He and Chad shared many childhood memories, so I thought it would be what they wanted for Mart to be on his webpage. There are some things my sister and I preferred they wouldn't have shared.

Chad I remember at Mart's visitation you stood in the doorway by his casket, sobbing all night.  When it was time for us to go you grabbed me and said "Mom don't ever leave me." Knowing I was your Mom that I probably would be the first to go. That's how it typically works.  I just hugged you tighter and said Chad don't ever do this to me!
AND YOU DID!


God, took my baby home, he didn't even ask if I would
feel alone. Well of course I do. But God I know you have your plans and he is better off with you. I miss his enourmous smile, and his witty comments, but I'm sure you are enjoying them now. I bet it gives you a break from all that harp music. Has he told you about 3 Doors Down, he really liked them and Uncle Kracker. Does he ever mention his family, is he homesick? He never liked to spend the night away from home. God I'm sure you know this about my only Boy, so please take care of him and fill his life with joy.
With all my Love and Prayers
Cis Mom of Angel Chad Brill



Chad loved playing baseball, he enjoyed most 
sports, but baseball was his favorite.  He began
playing T-Ball when he was 4.  He played 
each year. He received most valuable player
several years. He was picked to play on all star team several times. He played thru out his high school years, and on his college team. He played
on a traveling team where he went to Florida,
Tennessee, and others. He just lived for the
sport. Ironically on one of the pictures
from the crash report, it contained one
baseball cleat that had been thrown
from the car, in the middle of the highway.




Bring it on!
Don't Drink and Ride!!!
Chad made this horrible mistake, a decision that was made in a careless moment and changed all of our lives, forever. The hurt his choice put on to me his mother is more than I can bear at times. His sisters miss him so very much,and his father has a hard time as well.  Our entire family has been changed. So if you or any one you know drinks, well that is fine. Most of us know that Drinking and Driving is illegal, but drinking and riding can be lethal as well. I know this and I live the outcome everyday. Chad loved baseball, and was living the second day of his 21 summer,and the last. His game was over. The man who chose to drive while drinking, Joshua Baker will be released on parole March 5, 2007. My son's decision was a life time sentence for us. Bakers sentence was 4 years in jail, at which time he will walk, eat, and breathe. I hope when they unlock his jail cell that he takes with him daily a little bit of the hell he has put our family thru. I know we are suppose to foregive but I just haven't made it to that point yet. 

IF YOU WANT ME TO

The pathway is broken
And the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why You brought me here
But just because You love me the way that You do
I'm gonna walk through the valley
If you want me to

No I'm not who I was
When I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to You
Then I will go through the fire
If You want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When You lead me through a world that's not my home
But you never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone

So when the whole world turns against me
And I'm all by myself
And I can't hear You answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering Your love put You through
And I will go through the darkness
If You want me to

When I cross over Jordan, I'm gonna shout
Gonna look into your eyes and see you never let me down
So take me on the pathway that leads me home to You

And I will walk through the valley if you want me to

Yes, I will walk through the valley if you want me to
This song was written by Ginny Owens
We found it on my son's computer with all of the
rock and country songs. We think he listened to
it in Memory of His Cousin Marty W. Howser
also killed in a car crash on 9-9-2000





THINK BEFORE YOU DRINK!






REPORT DRUNK DRIVERS!


WITH YOU!

I'll see you again someday! 


I found a penny today just laying on the ground, But it's not just a penny - this little coin i"ve found.

Found pennies come from heaven That's what my Grandpa told me. He said Angels toss them down 




He said when an Angel misses you they toss a penny down, Sometimes just to cheer you up To make a smile out of your frown.


So don't pass by that penny When you're feeling blue, It may be a penny from heaven That an Angel's tossed to you

.


Celine Dion
Goodbye's (The Saddest Word)
Mamma
You gave life to me
Turned a baby into a lady (MAN)

Mamma
All you had to offer
Was the promise of a lifetime of love

Now I know
There is no other
Love like a mother's love for her child

And I know
A love so complete
Someday must leave
Must say goodbye

Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near
Someday you'll say that word and I will cry
It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye

Mamma
You gave love to me
Turned a young one into a woman

Mamma
All I ever needed
Was a guarantee of you loving me

'Cause I know
There is no other
Love like a mother's love for her child

And it hurts so
That something so strong
Someday will be gone, must say goodbye

Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near
Someday you'll say that word and I will cry
It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye

But the love you gave me will always live
You'll always be there every time I call
You offered me the greatest love of all
You take my weakness and you make me strong
And I will always love you 'til forever comes

And when you need me
I'll be there for you all the way
I'll be there all life through
I'll be there this I guarantee

Mamma, I'll be
I'll be there through the darkest nights
I'll be the wings that guide your broken flight
I'll be your shelter through the raging storm
And I will love you 'till forever comes

Goodbye's the saddest word I'll ever hear
Goodbye's the last time I will hold you near
Someday you'll say that word and I will cry
It'll break my heart to hear you say goodbye

'Till we meet again...
Until then...
Goodbye



MARCH 3, 2007
This message is for Josh Baker. I know
you were released from prison today.
Your Mom and the rest of your family
are so excited.  I wish I could give my
Mom,Dad,Carrie,Cassie, Brooke and
Taylor hugs today too or tomorrow for
that matter.  When I was growing up
my Mom always told me there were
two phrases in life that had more meaning
than any other.  Those two phrases were
1. I'm Sorry when I do something wrong.
2. Thank-you when someone does something
for me.
Now I just want to let you know how Sorry
I am for getting in the car with you on 
June 23,2006 for my last ride.  I'm Sorry
that the police told my Mom they cut me out of 
the seat belt in your car.  That let my family
know that I was scared because I never 
wore one unless they made me.
I'm Sorry that they also told her by the way
my hands were so messed up, I had put them up
in defense because I knew I was hitting the pole.
I'm Sorry that my decision to ride with you that
night has sentenced my family to a life time of 
sorrow. I'm Sorry because now Carrie has a little
girl that I will never hold. I'm Sorry because
Cassie now has two little boys I will never get to
toss ball with.  I'm Sorry that my decision made
me leave my two littlest sisters, with the feelings
of dealing with death at ages 4 and 5.  How do they understand being so young?
Your Mom apologized to my Mom on your behalf.
Your attorney apologized to the courts on your
behalf.  Have you yourself ever apologized to
my family?  Did you ever thank my Mom for
letting you attend my visitation?  She did that for you to help you deal with all of this to make your life easier.  Also your attorney told the courts 
before your sentencing that you wanted to use
this horrible accident to benefit others by 
going to schools and letting them no the outcome of drinking and driving. Are you still planning on doing that?  If you do don't foreget to tell them
about DRINKING AND RIDING!